The day before yesterday, the day was pretty alright. There was school in the morning, pretty normal. There was SPA trial yesterday as well. It wasn’t all that bad, I partnered Sarah, had quite a lot of fun and I also managed to get a good reading of 25.2. Then, band came. I’ve realised how horrible a person I’ve been, making the people around me feel inferior and everything. I ought to change for the better, shouldn’t I? But, how? I really don’t know what to do anymore. Whenever I think about it, it just keeps my brain going in circles, really. I can’t sleep, I can’t work, and I can’t do anything no more

Yesterday was so much better. Friends made me better again. Though I may not be showing it on the outside, it doesn’t really mean I really don’t feel anything. I seriously don’t know what I’m talking about anymore. Everything has become so confusing. I try my best, but why isn’t my best good enough? Sometimes, I feel really discouraged. I don’t know why. I’m glad to have such wonderful friends with me, everywhere, to make me feel like me again. School was alright started off with some council talk early in the morning. Well, now they have tie rental services and free umbrella services. Sometimes I really wonder why they do such stuff. I guess it’s for us, students yeah, so they’ll have to go that extra mile to get things done. Then, I got 5honor stamps and surprisingly no demerits the last semester, pretty amazing right? I’m amazed myself. I’m in the honor club which entitles me to free drinks at the library and the student lounge. (: I don’t think I’ll get them though. It opens on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, from 3 to 5.30. After assembly in the morning, it was history, followed by E maths then geog. Geography was free period because the teacher didn’t come to class. Sarah, Twinkle, Rachael and I went to sit at the benches near the toilet. I’ll not elaborate, but it was pretty fun, and extensive. After that was recess, we ran down, as usual, and got our laksa[s]! We played chop chilli, and duck duck goose in the middle of the parade square and many stared. Even teachers stopped to look, I’m glad we played. Then, we went back to class. Chinese was alright, our group won. I seriously didn’t expect it. 超人！We’re the coolest and the champions for the season. (: I was damn happy! After Chinese, was A Maths, pretty boring, followed by Physics. Teacher realized where my name was on my workbook, the whole thing was damn embarrassing. My name means a lot to me, okay. In the end, I wrote my name really huge across the front cover of the book.

Okay, today was %*#$&*#W. I don’t wish to elaborate. Everything happened really badly.

To cheer myself up, I sing this song. By Jewel, Good Day. (:

i say to myself
self, why are you awake again?
it's one a.m.
standing with the fridge door wide open, staring
such a sight, florescent light
the stars are bright
might make a wish, if i believed in that shit
as it is, i might watch tv
cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me
i say to myself, as i smile at the wall, let myself fall

it's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
it's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
it's gonna be okay, cause i'm okay with me
it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be

i shiver, shut the door
can't think standing here no more
i'm alone, my mine's racing, heart breaking
can you be everything i need you to be?
can you protect me like a daughter?
can you love me like a father?
can you drink me like water?
say i'm like the desert, just hotter.
the point of it all
is that if i should fall
still you're name i'll call

it's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
it's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
it's gonna be okay, cause i'm okay with me
it's gonna be, it's gonna be

as long as we laugh out loud
laugh like we're mad
cause this crazy, mixed up beauty is all that we have
because what's love but an itch we can't scratch, a joke we can't catch
but still we laugh

i go back upstairs, turn off the tv
you say "i'll be okay baby, just wait and see."
it's gonna be all right, it's gonna be okay
gonna be a good day, just wait, just see
gonna okay, cause i'm okay with me
it's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gonna be...

(: I'm going to be alright!